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This contains some loose and slightly unpleasant talk.
If you intend to read on, please take sufficient care, such as avoiding meal times.
We cannot be held responsible if you feel uncomfortable.
Foreword
Do you know about the 100-yen poo?
Seria, the 100-yen shop.
Do you know they have "poo" there?
The other day, after a curry lunch,
I had the chance to go to Seria with daicon-san.
While browsing various items, he
picked something up and exclaimed in surprise.
"This poo is really good!"
Watching him from the side, I
probably said with a mocking smile,
"What on earth would you use that for?!"
I couldn't understand his feelings at all.
Without seeming to care about my disdainful gaze,
he happily purchased it.
What a strange purchase.
However, once I got home, I became curious.
I was curious about the poo he bought.
The thought of the poo stuck in my head,
and wouldn't leave.
Or rather, should I say it wouldn't flush?
Once I started thinking about it,
it didn't take long for that curiosity
to turn into regret.
Why didn't I buy it then!
Ah, I want it so badly.
I want that poo so badly.
I want that poo!!!
I bought the "Prank Squishy Poo"
I ran in the light rain.
I ran towards Seria.
I ran without looking aside.
And finally, I obtained it!
Purchased the "Prank Squishy Poo"
The "poo" I'm referring to was this.
Some people might turn away due to its overly realistic appearance.
I changed the angle slightly for no reason. Helpfully, two different sizes are included. I can't praise their meticulous product creation enough.
It looks just like the real thing! And its selling point is its addictive texture.
If I were to constantly fidget with something like this, I might even lose my few close friends. It's a charming but dangerous item.
On the back of the packaging, there's a polite explanation of how to use it. The photos are incredibly surreal.
The phrase "You can use it without any discomfort" seems to boast about the product's quality, which I find very appealing.
Let's refrain from excessive pranks!
Its presence is intense.
I haven't even opened the package yet. Even without opening it, I'm already enjoying myself this much. Oh, squishy poo, you're so sinful.
I immediately 'operation-opened' the package.
Wow.
It's incredibly jiggly. The overwhelming presence when placed gently. Wow.
When I gently placed it on my hand, there was no room for doubt.
Undeniably, it's poo.
Something hot welled up in my chest. Wishful thinking is part of love! (← No particular meaning)
Fooled by such poo
Poo surprise plan initiated. The stage is my home.
As I have two young daughters at home, I'll be targeting them.
Surprise plan starts
I immediately tried placing it in the hallway.
Whoooa! It looks exactly like it now...
Starting with the moment the child passed by, and saying their surprised lines!
Me: "Huh! What is this!?"
Child A: "Whaaaaat!?"
The child recoils.
Child A: "It's not mine!!"
A blind spot. Who it originated from. That's what becomes important.
Hearing the commotion, the other one came.
Child B: "It's not B's!"
Me: "Huh, then whose is it..."
It doesn't matter whose it is.
I can't just leave it like this.
I picked up some toilet paper and
deliberately picked it up.
Normally, you'd just flush it down the toilet,
but for some reason, I tripped spectacularly,
and it was thrown towards the child.
Whee!
A cacophony of screams.
It was like a scene from hell.
I'm sorry, but it was fun.
After that, it would have been one thing if it had fallen on the floor,
but for some reason, another one popped out of my pocket.
It was a strategy of piling on the surprise.
Once it got to this point,
they continued to scream their heads off,
without bothering to think about where it came from.
A dad who throws poo...
That shouldn't happen...
Abikyoukan
After enjoying it for a while in that state,
I revealed the trick, and that was the end of it.
The prank was a great success!
Once they realised it wasn't real,
they started playing with it.
Children's adaptability is amazing! (Not!)
A Fun Masterpiece
It was incredibly fun!
To think that you can casually buy this for 100 yen,
the world isn't so bad after all.
This time I used it for a prank,
but it might have other uses.
For example, preventing bicycle theft.
If there was a poo on a GARMIN,
I don't think anyone would want to steal it.
What do you think?
For those who think, "No, that's a bit unnatural!",
you might want to place it on the saddle.
I feel like this would be more adaptable.
It's late at night already,
and I'm taking pictures with poo on it...
What on earth am I doing?
I started thinking about things I shouldn't think about,
and in the end, I decided to put it back where it belonged.
This is where you belong.
It reminds me of the final scene of "Doraemon: Nobita's Dinosaur".
Goodbye.
And so,
the poo that can be bought for 100 yen
gave me dreams worth more than 100 yen!
As for the prank plan,
it might get you in trouble if you try it on adults,
so why not try it on children?
I can't take responsibility if they end up hating you though ♪
The End
P.S.
Special thanks to my friend daicon for giving me the opportunity to buy this!
I think putting it on the saddle is a great idea!
I'm also a Southern fan, so it was kind of fun.
Huh? What do you mean by Southern fan!? I thought, and then I realised you had written all sorts of things lol
After that, I was playing with my child, but my wife found it in the toilet, and instead of a surprise, she got a little angry and threw it away. I have to be careful when I use it... (lesson learned)